Most people use mindfulness as a way of reducing stress and getting in touch with themselves, their bodies and their emotions. However mindfulness has another benefit — it can give us more intimacy with our partners and improve our relationships.
Intimacy and the importance of being in the present
Mindfulness teaches us to be in the present. This, in turn, helps us to create an environment where intimacy can flourish vqdtkc0.
Let’s say you are eating dinner with your partner. But instead of really tasting your food or engaging with your partner, you are worrying about work, making lists of tasks to be done and thinking about the football. This is not conducive to intimacy — or your waistline for that matter!
Intimacy comes about through sharing your daily life with another person. To be intimate we must feel connected. However, if we are not connected to ourselves — or only patchily so — it is harder to maintain a deep connection to a loved one. If you crowd out your emotions with thoughts and busyness, it becomes impossible to know them, let alone share them. Once you slow down and allow yourself to feel, you become more in tune with your emotions.
Human beings long for emotional connections with others. However, we can be our worst enemy in this regard. Even if we don’t allow ourselves to really experience our emotions, they still influence our behaviour. Negative feelings won’t go away if you repress them.
If we refuse to experience — and accept — our emotions, we cannot communicate them. This means we are thwarted in our desire for intimacy. Negative feelings can fester and cause us to lash out at the one we love.
To bring awareness to the body and to be mindful in the moment teaches us to accept our feelings — both good and bad — without judgement.
Taking emotional risks
Intimacy happens when we stay in the present moment, accept our experience in that moment and share this with a love one. Revealing vulnerable feelings can be frightening. But if you have a trusted partner and you are honest with him or her, this openness can prompt empathy and understanding between you both. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable we encourage others to act in a caring manner because we have shown them trust and asked for their understanding.